The E-Files

Indiana: BWAHAHAHA! Redux.

Posted by: Eric Loy

Thursday, March 12, 2009 8:44 PM

I really don't have too much to say about it that I haven't said before, but IlliniBoard poster MJS_312 really puts a capper on it:

"Congratulations IU, on a year to be remembered!

What started off as a crazy futures bet in a smoky Las Vegas sports book, has finally come to fruition. On this day, Hoosiers, you have claimed your place among the all-timers as having one of the most futile years in Big Ten history!
Since 1950, only four times has a school not named Northwestern provided such a season of comedic irrelevance, and NOONE has failed to reach the combined football/basketball 10 win mark since 1973-74. That’s 35 years if you’re scoring at home.

In a year where Illinois basketball rebounded from an off year to exceed all expectations on the court and in recruiting, the only thing that makes me smile almost as much as the current state of our program, is the state of yours.
Certainly this sort of feat takes a total team effort, and we’d be remiss not to acknowledge some of the IU MVPs…

I’d like to issue a personal thanks to IU football, for without your indifference to recruiting (finishing last in the conference in this area 3 of the last 4 years) surely you might have stumbled upon a fourth win in 2008.

I’d like to thank Cellvin Samscum, for without his reckless disregard of ethics, recruiting rules, and general class, there is no way little Tommy could have put together a roster capable of staying under 7 wins in a 31 game season.

I’d like to thank Eric Gordon, for without your last minute ship jumping act, the NCAA might have been less likely to notice what a shady, dirty coach Indiana University had brought into the Big Ten. You also deserve props for heading to the NBA after only one year on campus, because lord knows you probably could have led even the 2008-2009 IU roster to the middle of the pack in the league.

And last, but not least, I’d like to thank Hoosier nation’s fan base. You people managed to motivate our Illini with your comedic “We got Gordon” chats one day, and then make us laugh to tears by staging a “stripe out” then next. Your willingness to cry like babies on your scout board has provided me the joy of reading threads titled “I’m sorry, but I have to vent!”, “Our kids are flat worn out fellas”, and my personal favorite, “We’ve hit rock bottom”.

Ahh… memories…

Remember when you man’d down to blow a 20 point second half home lead to Michigan? How about the day you came ever so close to blowing it against powerhouse Chaminade? Or perhaps the fine display of laying down five minutes after tip off of your rivalry game in Champaign. In losing 20 of your last 21, you never managed to disappoint, and I never doubted you.

So in summary, on this day, I’m proud to announce, if the over/under on combined football/basketball wins for IU was set at 9.5, the under paid out.

Thanks guys, drinks on me. "

MJS_312, that was a very very very very naughty and perfect post.

Comments

Be the first to share your opinion!